Parents want their children to grow up to be responsible, successful adults of good character. But it doesn’t always happen that way. Sometimes children grieve their parents by their actions. Proverbs 10:1b “A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother.” Proverbs 17:25 “A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her who bore him.” We have multiple examples in the Bible of children disappointing and grieving their parents by their actions. The priest Eli was grieved by his sons. 1 Samuel 2:22-24 “Now Eli was very old; and he heard everything his sons did to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who assembled at the door of the tabernacle of meeting. So he said to them, ‘Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people. No, my sons! For it is not a good report that I hear. You make the Lord’s people transgress.’” Samuel’s sons were also a grief to their father. 1 Samuel 8:3 “But his sons did not walk in his ways; they turned aside after dishonest gain, took bribes, and perverted justice.”
Our God is our Father in heaven. It should come as no surprise that God is at times grieved by the actions of His people. Before the flood, God was grieved for making man. Genesis 6:5-8 “Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart. So the Lord said, ‘I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth, both man and beast, creeping thing and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them.’ But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord.” The Lord was grieved that He had made mankind and He destroyed the world with a flood because of their wickedness, but He saved Noah and his family.
God delivered the Israelites from Egyptian bondage and brought them into the wilderness. But they built a golden calf to worship when Moses was on the mountain receiving the commandments. They complained and tested God multiple times in the wilderness. Psalms 78:40 “How often they provoked Him in the wilderness, and grieved Him in the desert!” Later, when they were in the promised land, multiple times they forgot the Lord and followed after other gods; as a result, He delivered them into the hands of their enemies to oppress them. Isaiah 63:10 “But they rebelled and grieved His Holy Spirit; so He turned Himself against them as an enemy, and He fought against them.” Multiple times the Israelites grieved the Lord.
You are the temple of God and the Spirit of God dwells in you. 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 “Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are.” The Spirit dwells within you and knows everything that you do, everything that you say, and even everything that you think. Nothing is hidden from the Spirit of God. The Spirit wants to guide you and strengthen you and bless you. But you still have free will. You can choose to do what is right or you can choose to walk according to the flesh. If you walk according to the flesh and not according to the Spirit, it should come as no surprise that the Holy Spirit is grieved. Ephesians 4:30 “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” The Greek word translated as “grieve” means “to cause to feel sorrow, pain, unhappiness, or distress.” That is how the Holy Spirit feels when you walk according to the flesh.
The letter to the Ephesians contains multiple exhortations from the Apostle Paul for them to be careful how they live. Here is one such exhortation. Ephesians 4:17-24 “This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.” Walking “as the rest of the Gentiles walk” would grieve the Holy Spirit.
If we have lustful thoughts, if we have hate for our brother, or if we covet what others have, then the Holy Spirit knows it and would grieve over our sinfulness. If we secretly enjoy wickedness or take pleasure in unrighteousness, that too would grieve the Holy Spirit. If there are sins in our lives that we enjoy and hold on to and refuse to repent of them, that also would grieve the Holy Spirit. If we think mostly of ourselves rather than serving others, then the Holy Spirit would know and grieve over us. Judge for yourself. Are there things in your life that would grieve the Holy Spirit? He knows your every secret.
Grieving the Holy Spirit may be similar to “quenching” the Holy Spirit in that both negatively impact the believer, the church, and the world. 1 Thessalonians 5:19 “Do not quench the Spirit.” To quench is to put out or extinguish such as to extinguish a fire. The Holy Spirit should be like a fire within us, helping us and leading us. When we live in such a way that the Spirit is grieved, it would seem that we might also be quenching the Spirit and minimizing His impact in our lives.
The Holy Spirit within you may be grieved by some of the things you do in your life. I encourage you to live your life so that the Spirit is not quenched or grieved.