In the Ephesian letter, the apostle Paul instructed the church about the attitude they should have for one another. Ephesians 4:32 “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Each of us, as Christians, is saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. We have a common salvation; we have a common gift of eternal life. However, we are still imperfect people who have the ability to say and do things that displease or harm our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. This verse describes how we are to treat our brother or sister, even when they trespass against us.
First, we are to be kind to one another. To be kind is to be good, gracious, gentle, and benevolent. A kind person is easy to approach. When you approach a kind person, you know they are not going to be harsh or hurt you. If necessary, they will give you grace. When a brother or sister in Christ trespasses against us, our first reaction might be to be angry with them. But our reaction should be kindness – kindness because we love them. Jesus commanded us to love each other. John 13:34-35 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” 1 Corinthians 13:4 tells us that love is kind. We are to treat our brother or sister with kindness because we love them. A mother or father will be kind to their children because they love them. Kindness is also part of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). In other words, if the Spirit is living and working within us, we will develop a spirit of kindness.
The story of Ruth in the Bible demonstrates kindness. Ruth was from Moab and was the daughter-in-law of Naomi. Both of their husbands had died before they returned to the land of Israel. Ruth was kind to her mother-in-law and chose to not leave her but to help her. They needed food, so Ruth went to glean in the field after the reapers. It happened that she gleaned in the field that belonged to Boaz. Ruth 2:8-9; 15-16 “Then Boaz said to Ruth, ‘You will listen, my daughter, will you not? Do not go to glean in another field, nor go from here, but stay close by my young women. Let your eyes be on the field which they reap, and go after them. Have I not commanded the young men not to touch you? And when you are thirsty, go to the vessels and drink from what the young men have drawn.’” “And when she rose up to glean, Boaz commanded his young men, saying, ‘Let her glean even among the sheaves, and do not reproach her. Also let grain from the bundles fall purposely for her; leave it that she may glean, and do not rebuke her.’” Boaz was kind to Ruth. Later Naomi encouraged Ruth to go to the threshing floor of Boaz on the night that he was winnowing barley and offer herself to him. Ruth 3:9-12 “And he said, ‘Who are you?’ So she answered, ‘I am Ruth, your maidservant. Take your maidservant under your wing, for you are a close relative.’ Then he said, ‘Blessed are you of the Lord, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman.” Boaz praised Ruth for being kind to Naomi. He in turn was kind to Ruth and eventually married her. This story demonstrates kindness.
Second, we are to be tenderhearted towards our brother or sister in Christ. This means that we are to have pity and compassion for them. The opposite of tenderhearted would be hardhearted. How can we be hardhearted toward them when they are our brother or sister? They are saved for the same reason that we are saved – because God had mercy on us. 1 Peter 3:8-9 “Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.”
Finally, we are to forgive our brother or sister. Forgiveness is one of the great themes of the Bible. God has forgiven each and every one of us. None of us wants to stand before God on the judgement day and answer for our transgressions and sins. But we don’t have to worry about our sins, because God has forgiven us. In the “Lord’s Prayer”, Jesus taught his disciples to pray. Matthew 6:12-15 “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
These attitudes of kindness, tenderheartedness and forgiveness are important in our lives. While the exhortation from the Apostle Paul is for how we should treat one another in the church, we should show these same attitudes toward our husband or wife or parents or children or our neighbors. We should even show these attitudes toward our enemies. Jesus taught in Luke 6:35-36 “But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.” Just as the Father is kind and merciful to all, we should be kind and merciful to all.
It is important how we treat other people. We are to be kind to them; we are to be tenderhearted towards them; we are to forgive them their trespasses against us. We are to love them!