Do you honor your parents?  We are commanded to do so.  Ephesians 6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise: ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.’”  To understand that it is the first commandment with promise, we need to go to the ten commandments and read the fifth commandment – Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”  Honoring your father and mother is the only one of the Ten Commandments that has a promise, and that promise is long life; if we honor our parents, the promise is that we will live long.

What does it mean to honor our parents?  To honor someone is to regard them with great respect. Let us look at several ways that you can honor or dishonor your parents. 

In Ephesians 6:1, children are told to obey their parents in the Lord.  Children, whenever you cheerfully obey your parents without grumbling or talking back to them, you honor them.  When you disobey your parents, you are not honoring them.

Speaking ill about your parents, showing contempt for them, or disrespectfully talking back to them is not honoring your parents.  Under the law of Moses, a curse was pronounced on those who treated their parent with contempt.  Deuteronomy 27:16 “Cursed is the one who treats his father or his mother with contempt.’  And all the people shall say, ‘Amen!’”  Proverbs 20:20 “Whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness.”  Showing contempt or cursing your parents would be the opposite of honoring your parents.

Jesus addressed the honoring of father and mother in Matthew 15:3-9 “He answered and said to them, ‘Why do you also transgress the commandment of God because of your tradition?  For God commanded, saying, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.’  But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, ‘Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God’’ — then he need not honor his father or mother.’ Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition.  Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying:  ‘These people draw near to Me with their mouth, and honor Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me.  And in vain they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’” Here is the situation.  The Jews of Jesus’ time had a tradition that if a man dedicated his property as a gift to God, then the property would not be available to provide profit, support or financial help to his parents.  He had dedicated his property to God so he was not under obligation to support his parents and thus honor his parents.  From this we learn that honoring of our father and mother includes providing for them.  This would be especially important when they are unable to provide for themselves.  Children or grandchildren should “repay” or provide for a widow in their family.  1 Timothy 5:3-4 “Honor widows who are really widows.  But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God.” I believe providing for parents is included in the instruction of 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”  To be worse than an unbeliever is a serious condemnation against one who doesn’t provide for his family.    It is important to God that weprovide for our parents when they are unable to provide for themselves.  This is one way that we honor them.

But someone will say, “You don’t know about my father (or mother). You don’t know what they are like or what they have done.  They don’t deserve to be honored.” It is true, that some parents are not the parents that they should be.  To me, it is no different than other people in authority that are not what they should be.  The Bible teaches us to honor people in authority even if they have not been what they should be. Romans 13:7 “Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor.” I believe you should honor your parents because they are your parents, even if they are not what they should be; they are still your father and mother.

Here are some other ways I think you can honor your parents as an adult. You can communicate and visit with them frequently; include them in your life; tell them that you love them; remember their birthday or anniversary; remember them on Mother’s Day or Father’s day; see that their needs are being met.

Another way of honoring your parent is to listen to their advice and counsel.  They have lived longer than you have lived and had experiences that might help you.  Proverbs 1:8 “My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” Proverbs 23:22 “Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”  As an adult, you may receive advice from you parents.  Respectfully listen to their advice before making your decision of what you will do.

How do you treat your parents?  Do you give them respect?  Do you honor them? Sure, they have their faults, but so do you.  They are older than you; they have likely gained wisdom from their many years; they brought you into this world and provided for you while you were growing up.  Obey them, if you are still in their household.  Treat them with respect, whether you are at home with them or on your own.  Provide for them when they are unable to provide for themselves.  Honor them, for this pleases the Lord.