Jesus taught His disciples to pray in Matthew 6:9-13. One element of the prayer was the request to the Father for forgiveness. Verse 12: “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” Jesus further taught in Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Every one of us wants the Father to forgive our trespasses or sins. We do not want to receive the consequences for our sins from a holy God. Our Father has been so gracious and merciful to us by forgiving us of our sins. Therefore, we must learn to forgive others their trespasses. This is not easy to do.
What if someone repeatedly sins against you? Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.’” Don’t do the math. It is not an exact number of times you need to forgive. Jesus is saying that as often as he sins against you, you need to forgive him. Then Jesus gave the parable of the King that forgave his servant a great debt, but that servant turned around and would not forgive a fellow servant a small amount. The king then restored the debt on the first servant and sent him to be tortured until he would pay the total debt (Matthew 18:23-34). This parable should teach us about our great debt to God and the relatively small debt that others may have to us. Jesus concludes in verse 35 “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” We should be motivated to forgive our brother from our heart.
Jesus also taught in Luke 17:3-4 “Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.” You may reason that the one who sinned against you didn’t come to you and say he was sorry so you don’t need to forgive him. But look at the example Jesus gave when He was tortured and nailed to the cross. Luke 23:34a “Then Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.’” Those who put Jesus on the cross were not sorry for what they had done. Yet, Jesus forgave them. You should be like Jesus and forgive even if someone doesn’t say he is sorry. If you don’t forgive another, it will create bitterness within you towards them. Bitterness is a sin on your part and will even cause you physical health issues because you hold the feelings inside you. Let the feelings go and forgive.
You may say “But you don’t know what they did to me!” Look again at the example Jesus gave us when He was falsely accused, spat upon, mocked, reviled, tortured and nailed to the cross to die a most cruel death. Jesus forgave those who caused all this to happen to Him. How does the harm you received compare to what Jesus was given? And yet, Jesus asked the Father to forgive them. No offense is too big; you can still forgive.
Maybe you think “I can’t forget what they did to me.” Although forgetting and forgiving are related, they are not the same. You can forgive even when you still remember. The apostle Paul remembered those who harmed him. 2 Tim 4:14-16 “Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm. May the Lord repay him according to his works. You also must beware of him, for he has greatly resisted our words. At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them.” You can forgive and let go of the resentment even though you remember what was done to you. Just like the apostle Paul, I advise you to beware and seek to avoid being hurt again. Even so, forgive. When you continually talk about the offenses that you remember, have you really forgiven? Let the offenses lie in the past.
Maybe you think that it doesn’t seem fair. They have sinned against you so they need to be repaid in kind. However, we should never take vengeance but forgive and let the Lord exercise vengeance. Romans 12:19-21 “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. Therefore ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” God will see that justice is done in the end of things. Where there has been evilness, overcome that evilness by doing good.
Sometimes we judge another’s actions thinking that they did something evil or for an evil reason, but we may misjudge them. Jesus taught us in Matthew 7:1-2 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” Our judging can be misjudging. How foolish to be unforgiving when no offense really occurred.
Why did God forgive you through Jesus? He gave you forgiveness because He loved you (John 3:16). Why should you forgive others? Because you love them. Remember that the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor (Matthew 22:39). You don’t love their sin and their trespass against you. But you can love them as a precious soul before God and as a result you forgive them.
My encouragement to you is to forgive any and all that have trespassed against you. Don’t bring it up and remind them what they have done. Don’t bring to your remembrance and think about what they did to you. Cast out all bitterness. Forgive. Colossians 3:12-13 “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”